Updated: Aug 12
Your single years are the best years of your life. It’s not just a season for you to be waiting for marriage. You must maximize your singlehood because once it’s gone you can’t get it back. Being single is not a curse. It’s a blessing. In fact, it’s better to be single than to be married. Yes, you read right. Consider what the Bible says in 1 Cor 7: 1-2:
It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
Apostle Paul is saying that it’s better to remain single as long as you can stay pure. However, if you’re unable then you should marry rather than live in sin. As a single person you have more freedom to serve God but when married you also have to please your spouse.
Now what should you be doing as a single person? How can you maximize your singlehood? Chances are that if you’re not fulfilled as a single, then you’re not doing these things. What are they?
1. Pursue Your Purpose
If you’re not pursuing your purpose, then you’re not living but just existing. Purpose is what brings fulfilment. Your purpose is more than just your personal ambitions. It’s about how you can bring a change in your sphere of influence. When God created the first man, he was busy fulfilling the task he was given. He was walking in his purpose not needing any other person but God. God had to intervene to give him a partner. That’s how it should be when you’re single. “But, what’s my purpose?”, you ask. Your purpose is in God. As you build a relationship with God, He will reveal what it is. God has given us passions, interests and talents which ought to be used for His Glory. The answer to that question is often related to your passions or frustrations. What do you enjoy doing? What’s something you’ve observed in the world that bothers you? Your purpose could be to solve that problem. It takes time and sometimes you must try a few things to find the one that sticks. Feel free to experiment.
2. Build Your Career
I’m always taken aback when someone tells me that they’re doing nothing. How is that even possible? Your singlehood is also a time for career development. You should always have an occupation. You may not have a job that provides a steady source of income, but you should be working towards that. At any point in time, you should either be pursuing studies, working a job or both. You could also be actively applying for jobs, growing a business, volunteering, or doing any other activity geared towards professional development. You can take online courses, attend seminars, conferences, learn a trade, or learn a high-income skill. There’s no limit to what you can do.
3. Serve in a Christian Community
There is more joy in giving than in receiving. One of the ways that you can give is through your service. As Christians we thrive better in community with others. You should be committed either in your local church or another Christian community. Use your talents and skills to serve others. There are many ways that you can be of service. For instance, if you enjoy singing, join the choir, or if you’re technically savvy join the technical team. There are usually several departments working together for a church to run smoothly including Protocol, Communication, Administration, Finance, just to name a few. Don’t just be a passive church goer. Don’t just sit and expect others to serve you. Join any department and serve. Serving others prepares you for marriage.
4. Personal Development and Self-Care
Your singlehood is the best time to develop good habits that will be useful for the rest of your life. In marriage you’ll barely have time for yourself. Use this time to develop yourself in various ways. Most people think that education ends when you graduate from school. You must be constantly learning and growing. Read books that will inspire you. If you desire marriage, read books about it. Also, invest time to take care of yourself. Eat healthy and exercise regularly. It’s easier to build the discipline of habits like reading, working out, prayers, meditation and more while you’re still single.
5. Invest in Your Passions
If your life is all about doing what you have to do, then you’ll easily burn out. You need to balance that with doing what you enjoy as well. Surely you must have hobbies and interests. Carve out time to enjoy these things. It could be travel, dance, knitting, tennis, basketball, piano, guitar and what have you. If you’re able to get a job doing what you love, then you’ve hit the jackpot. That’s very rare though. If you’re like most people who work a job unrelated to their passions, then you need to intentionally create time to do them. Even if it’s just for a few hours per week it will make a huge difference.
What do you think? Are there other activities you believe singles should be doing? Do you do the aforementioned things? Let us know your thoughts in the comments. We ought to maximize our singlehood. If you’re not fulfilled while single, you won’t be fulfilled in marriage. For more guidance on how to maximize your singlehood, sign up for a FREE coaching session with us. We’re excited to meet you and guide you towards achieving your goals.
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