How Finances Can MAKE or BREAK a Relationship/Marriage
Nowadays people consider a lot of things before getting into a relationship with someone but neglect one of the most important points, which is the financial situation of their partner. Let’s take the case study of Sandra and her husband Sammy who were married for about 3 years. Sammy was a well-established businessman while Sandra wasn't doing anything. Sammy married her hoping that she would get an occupation very soon. However 3 years went by without her being able to get a job and she began to lose hope.
Though Sammy loved her, she was more a burden than a helper to him. Sammy was also paying a house help to assist his wife as she had complained several times about doing house chores. Instead of doing her domestic duties, Sandra would spend more time watching Nollywood movies. These things made Sammy value her less and less and the situation only grew worse day by day. He had to stress alone all day in order to handle all the increasing financial needs of the family. They were gradually losing feelings for each other as the days went by, until their marriage finally crumbled like a house of cards due to financial instability from one partner.
Finance is a major component in a relationship. Money issues are one of the major causes of divorce. Here are 5 ways in which financial issues can affect your relationship and what you can do to avoid them:
1) Communication
Some men are not comfortable with making less than their wives. Just as most women appreciate a man being the bread winner of the family, most men do not want an unproductive wife either. If only one person is providing finances, it will be burdensome for the partner which can cause a lot of stress and misunderstandings. Money problems often lead to more problems. The man who is the bread winner could start looking at the wife as useless or vice versa. Sometimes the spouse’s financial situation is used against them by their partner during a fight. All of these can be avoided if you seek to understand the financial values and mindset of a potential spouse. This can only happen through communication. Ask pertinent questions to determine if you’re compatible financially.
2) Respect
Financial stability commands respect, but instability only commands disgrace. In the case study of Sandra, she would ask for 300frs for soap from her husband. As soon as maggi finishes, she will send the kid to ask for 50frs. All these kept reducing the amount of respect her husband had for her. If she was able to handle little expenses on her own, such disrespect wouldn’t come up and she wouldn’t be seen as a useless person. Before getting into a relationship, you should be able to take care of your needs. If you’re acquired like furniture, you’ll be treated as such. Being financially dependent on someone puts you in a dangerous position to be taken advantage of. Be financially stable before considering marriage.
3) Decision Making
In some relationships, the more financially stable partner becomes the one who determines the outcome of key decisions. Whatever he or she says, becomes final and the other partner loses influence when it comes to decision making. Whereas in a financially stable relationship where both partners contribute, the decisions taken are collective and the family tends to have a higher output as ideas are brought by each person. Of course, two are always better than one.
4) Raising Children
A marriage faces more challenges when children come in. You have more bills to pay which include education, nutrition, health care, just to name a few. The more the financial stability, the better the quality of education, food and health care. But a marriage that is unstable financially will only leave the children with the least medical care they can afford which isn’t always the best. The quality of education will be low. There will be so many other negative impacts on the children due to financial instability. There will be no happy marriage if the kids aren’t taken care of. Before having children, you need to ensure that you'll be able to provide for them.
5) Family Growth
A marriage where the couple is financially stable will lead to a growing family. This growth can be in terms of number, infrastructure, education, and social status among many others. Financial stability eliminates a lot of stress points. But a financially unstable marriage will only create a lagging family with misunderstandings, hunger, conflicts and what have you.
These are some of the ways finances can make or break a relationship. I hope you were enriched as you read through this piece. Before considering a relationship make sure both you and your partner are able take care of your individual needs. At FyndLove, we empower singles and married couples to have the marriage of their dreams. Get started today for FREE by signing up below.
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