Updated: Jun 21
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Gen 2:24 NKJV)
In mathematics, 1 plus 1 equal 2, but in “marrymatics”, 1 plus 1 equal 1. How is that even possible? A lot of people don’t understand the mystery of marriage. The only way for two to become one is if they were one before. In the beginning, God created man or mankind in his image (with male and female attributes). He later made man from the soil and for a long-time man was all-in-one (both male and female) which wasn’t good in the eyes of God. As a result, God put the man to sleep and took a rib out of him and made the woman. Why you should not marry
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. (Gen 2:21-23 NKJV)
So, the woman was literally taken out of the man. That’s why the two can become one again. Let’s get one thing clear. Marriage is great. It’s the first institution created by God Himself. Marriage is a work of art by the greatest artist ever. Whatever God creates is perfect, but when it falls into the hands of man, we tend to abuse it. Most of the failed marriages are due to a lack of an understanding of this fundamental truth. If you know that you’re one with your spouse, why would you hurt them? How can you physically and verbally abuse yourself? How can you hide your phone from yourself? How can you resent yourself? Why you should not marry
These things happen because people marry for the wrong reasons. If you marry for the wrong reason, you’ll most likely marry the wrong person. By marrying the wrong person, you’ve already set yourself up for failure. Let me save you time and stress. If you’re getting married for any of the reason(s) that we shall discuss next, then PLEASE DON’T. Here are 5 reasons why you should not marry
1. To Change Status why you should not marry
Believe it or not, some people just like the idea of being called Mr. and Mrs. So and so. It’s not really that they love you. You’re just the willing participant they found. They just desire that change in marital status. Maybe it’s because you’ve seen people celebrating weddings on social media and you feel that you’re missing out. So, you jump onto whatever suitor comes your way because you also want to update your Facebook relationship status to “Married”. Sometimes it could be both partners getting scammed. Each of them marrying just to change their status. They’re both deceiving themselves. Sadly, just as they quickly to run into marriage, they’re also quick to find their way out of it. There are stories of people who wanted to divorce on their wedding night! Can you imagine that? If your partner is pressuring you for marriage, then it’s probably because of this. Don’t fall into it.
2. To Cure Loneliness why you should not marry
This one is a serious issue. Some people think that marriage is the solution to their loneliness. You’ll often hear such people say things like “I can’t live without you”. That’s not a sign of love. That’s a serious issue. You should run away from that person because they’re expecting you to cure their loneliness. No human being can fill you up. Only God can. That’s why it’s necessary to have a fulfilled life as a single. You must build a relationship with God first. You must be full of joy and happiness before getting married. Whatever your partner gives you is just the icing on the cake. But you should’ve baked your cake already. If you desperately want marriage, then you’re not ready. You’re ready for marriage when you don’t need to get married. To find out if you’re ready for marriage, check out THIS VIDEO.
3. To Cure Poverty
A group of ladies were chatting in a university hostel, and they were raving about how one of them is well off. She had fancy clothes, jewelry, handbags, and she rode a car. One of them was curious about how well she was doing, and she asked how she makes money. She wondered if she had a job or something. The other ladies laughed and responded by saying that she has a boyfriend. Obviously, this was a rich boyfriend. It could be a married man for all we know, but I digress. Some people see marriage as a solution to their financial problems. This is common with women. A certain woman was running a small business but sadly it didn’t work out well for her and she had to shut down. She was asked what she’d do next, and her response was that she would now find a husband. Meaning that she saw having a husband as the solution to her money problems.
Some women just desire to marry a rich man irrespective of his character or anything else. The problem with this is that they assume that this person will willingly share his money. There are several cases of women who have been stranded after their rich husbands left them and took everything, they gave them. Why wouldn’t he take them? They’re his right? If you’re acquired like furniture, you’ll be treated like furniture. Women in such marriages are treated poorly because they were literally bought with money. You may see her driving a car but what you don’t know is that she gets slapped in that same car. why you should not marry
Before getting married, you should have solved your financial problems. You should make your own money and be able to take care of your needs before joining with someone. In the worst-case scenario, you will still be financially independent. Another reason why women stay in abusive marriages is because they don’t make their own money. They won’t be able to take care of themselves if they leave. Having your own money gives you the power to walk away from toxic relationships. This is not to encourage divorce. The point is that you should not marry someone just because they’re rich in the first place.
4. “I’m getting Old” why you should not marry
Marriage is not about age but maturity. There are 40-year-old people who still rely on mum and dad to make decisions. Don’t get married just because you’re getting older. This is a fear mostly in women. Some people think that at a certain age, getting married is the next logical step; perhaps after graduating and getting a job. Or maybe you had anticipated getting married in your early or mid-twenties, yet you’ve reached your thirties and no eligible suitors are showing up. You begin to panic. As a result, you throw all your standards out of the window and pick any person that comes your way. Marriages based on fear hardly ever turn out well. Now, it’s possible that the qualities you were looking for were unrealistic. Maybe you had a certain “spec” which included 10 different men in one. If so, you need to rethink your standards and be realistic. However, assuming you had reasonable standards, you should stick to them no matter what. It’s just a matter of time. Keep pursuing your purpose and in doing so you’ll find your partner in the process.
5. “I want Kids.”
A certain 40-year-old woman (still single) had always desired to get married and have children. Sadly, no suitors were forthcoming. Consequently, she was considering doing IVF to have a child. Her fear being that she’s approaching menopause. It’s understandable to have such thoughts and we ought to show empathy for anyone going through this. However, the fact that you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you need to act on those feelings. Marriage is not about having children. Children are a gift from God. If you’re marrying solely to have kids, then you’ll just pick any person. Moreover, getting married doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have children. There are couples who could go their whole lives without having children. According to WHO, about 17.5% of the adult population (1 in 6 adults) worldwide experience infertility . You may have children but because you married the wrong person, these kids will grow up in a broken home. They will likely repeat the cycle. Studies have shown that kids of divorced or separated parents are 1.5 to 2 times more likely to engage in damaging sexual activity or live in poverty as they get older . A broken marriage will have a serious impact on your kids psychologically, physically, and academically. Focus on marrying right and trust God for your kids. why you should not marry
There you have it folks! These are some of the wrong reasons why people marry. If any of these are your reasons, then please rethink the decision you’re about to make. If you are already married based on these, it’s not too late. With proper coaching and counselling, you can still have a good marriage. Sign up for a FREE coaching session below. What then are the right reasons to marry? We shall discuss that in a future article. Meanwhile if you know of any more wrong reasons why people marry, please share them in the comments. If you’re not sure whether your motivations for marriage are right and you need guidance, please book a FREE Coaching session with us and we will answer your questions.
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