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Should Couples have Access to each other's Phones?

There seems to be a new question added to the list of questions to ask on a first date. It is the question of whether or not people in committed relationships should have access to each other’s mobile phones. While there are people who do not care about this, there are others who hold a strong opinion on the topic.

In this article, we shall examine both schools of thought, delving into both worlds to understand why people hold different opinions on the subject.

Let us begin with those who think that people in romantic relationships should have unlimited access to each other’s phones. When asked why, they’d advance reasons such as: Should Couples have Access to each other's Phones

1. Respect for personal space

One of the key arguments supporting the notion of a phone being private property in a relationship is the fundamental right to personal privacy. According to this school of thought, in a healthy partnership, individuals should be allowed a certain degree of autonomy and personal space. To them, a phone often contains a vast array of personal information, including text messages, emails, and social media interactions. Respecting the privacy of one's phone can foster trust and emotional well-being by acknowledging the importance of individual boundaries.

2. Trust and Emotional Well-being

This point argues that trust is a foundational element of any successful relationship, and respecting each other's privacy demonstrates trust and faith in one another. It suggests that constant monitoring or intrusion into personal phone usage can erode trust and create an atmosphere of suspicion and insecurity.

3. Personal Communication and Relationships

Another point that supports the notion that a phone is a private property in committed relationships is that a phone often serves as a medium for personal communication. This includes conversations with friends, family members, and colleagues. Thus, respecting the privacy of these conversations allows individuals to maintain and nurture their relationships outside of the marriage. It helps create a healthy balance between the shared aspects of the marriage and individual connections. Should Couples have Access to each other's Phones

4. Conflict Prevention

I have heard people fondly say that checking your partner’s phone is like cutting onions, it will end in tears. This suggests that you will find what you are looking for when you go through your partner’s phone. This point argues that granting privacy regarding phone usage can help prevent unnecessary conflicts within a marriage. Constant monitoring or suspicion can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. By respecting each other's privacy, couples can focus on open communication, understanding, and resolving issues maturely and constructively.


Moving on to the other side of the argument, some people believe that oneness in relationships and marriage, in particular, should include mobile phones. Those who hold this view often advance these points to support their view:

1. Openness and Trust

Those who hold this point of view believe that sharing access to each other's phones can foster a sense of openness and trust within a relationship. It shows a willingness to be transparent and allows partners to feel secure in the knowledge that there are no hidden secrets or activities taking place on their phones. They believe that this level of transparency can strengthen the bond between partners and build a foundation of trust.

2. Communication and Understanding

This point counters the idea that some conversations with one party’s friends, family or work should not always be known by the other party. Those who hold this view believe that having access to each other's phones can provide insight into each other's lives, interests, and concerns. It allows partners to have a better understanding of their daily activities, communication with others, and shared experiences. This increased awareness can facilitate more effective communication and empathy, leading to a deeper connection between the couple. Should Couples have Access to each other's Phones

3. Proactive Conflict Resolution

Those who view a phone as a shared gadget believe that by having access to each other's phones, couples can address potential issues proactively. They can identify and discuss any concerns, miscommunications, or misunderstandings that may arise from digital interactions. They believe that this proactive approach to conflict resolution can prevent conflicts from escalating and help maintain a healthy and harmonious relationship/marriage.

4. Mutual Support and Accountability

This is another reason some people think that couples should have access to each other’s phones. It is believed that access to each other's phones can provide a platform for mutual support and accountability. Partners can offer assistance, reminders, or encouragement through shared access to calendars, reminders, or productivity apps. They believe that this level of involvement can strengthen the sense of teamwork and shared goals within the relationship/marriage.


The question of whether a phone is a private property within a relationship or marriage is a complex one. It appears that this debate will never end because everyone seems to have substantial points to back their views. While arguments can be made for both phone privacy and transparency, it is important to strike a balance that nurtures trust, openness, and individual autonomy.

As a couple, it is important to bring this to the table and discuss it to conclude where both of you feel heard and respected. This will prevent a situation of having to go back and forth about phones in the future. At the end of the day, the important thing is for the two people in a committed relationship to unanimously agree on what should hold for them.

Where do you belong in this argument? Share your thoughts in the comment section and do not forget to SUBSCRIBE to our channel for more content on love, relationships, and marriage. Thank you for reading and until next time, remain blessed.

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