top of page

"Should My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Know My Salary?"

We’ve reached a point today where money is valued over life. We unconsciously treat money like a god. We should know better, after all the Bible says:

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” – Matthew 6:24 NIV



When you’re willing to marry someone you can’t trust with your money, there’s a serious problem. How can you trust someone with your life when you can’t trust them with your money?  How can you trust someone to raise your children when you don’t trust them with your money? The only reason why someone will do that is because they value their money over their life. The person you marry is the same person who can easily take your life. If the worst happens and they take your life, what happens to the money you tried so hard to keep from them? We ought to prioritize right. If you can’t trust someone with your money, then don’t marry them.




Now that we know to prioritize life over money, how about the question: “Should my boyfriend/girlfriend know my salary?” I wish the answer to this question were simple. It’s not straightforward mainly because the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is so vague. The boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is the cause of most of the toxic dating trends such as ghosting, love bombing, stonewalling, gas lighting, and more that people experience these days. There’s no real commitment to it and there are no set rules or guidelines about important aspects like finances. It goes beyond just salaries to how transparent should people in a relationship be. “What should I tell my boyfriend/girlfriend? When should we discuss this or that about us?” In the following paragraph, we will give general guidelines on how to address such questions.



One thing we need to point out is that money is an undue influence on relationships. What do I mean? If a guy approaches a lady with a romantic interest and this guy treks because he doesn’t own a car, she is likely to ignore him. However, the moment that same guy makes it big and owns a car, she becomes interested. Also, some women have married men just because these men sponsored them through school. It’s a nice thing to sponsor her, but the challenge is at that point it’s difficult to tell if that relationship is based on that dependence or her genuine interest in the man. Like sex, once money gets involved or starts changing hands in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, our judgments get clouded. The best way to proceed in a relationship is to eliminate all these undue influences such as money for as long as possible. Prioritize getting to know this person on a deeper level to determine if you’ll be willing to trust them with your life. If you can trust them with your life, then money shouldn’t be a problem. should my boyfriend know my salary



 

When can things like money enter the mix? At least until there’s a formal commitment in the relationship; meaning both parties are committed to taking the relationship until marriage. This usually happens at the point where the families of the couple and trusted 3rd parties are aware of the relationship. The formal commitment varies based on culture. In African cultures, it’s usually when the man officially visits the woman’s family and pays the bride price. In the West, it’s usually less formal. However, there should be a point where families are involved. A formal commitment could also be a public engagement where the lady accepts to marry the man, with an engagement ring and all the fluff that goes with it. The engagement must not always be public, but it could just involve the families and trusted witnesses. should my boyfriend know my salary



About the main question: “Should my boyfriend/girlfriend know my salary?” It depends on what stage you are at in the relationship. If you just met, then absolutely not. Are you intentionally dating or just having fun? Are things already serious between you two? Are your families and trusted 3rd parties (mentors, Pastors, counselors, …) involved? If it’s casual dating, then no need to know. The best-case scenario is if there’s a formal commitment as we mentioned earlier. The couple needs to be at a point where they are interested in building a life together. If not, there’s no point in discussing sensitive matters such as finances. Also, you don’t want to create a situation where you can’t tell if someone loves you for you or just for your money. There’s no hard rule. The answer will vary on a case-by-case basis. However, to be safe, if it’s a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, then it should be no. You should be having such discussions with your fiancée and not your boyfriend/girlfriend. should my boyfriend know my salary



There are various mindsets about this question. What do you think? Should people in a relationship disclose how much they earn? Let us know in the comments. We hope you were enriched through this. Do well to SUBSCRIBE to our channel for more content on love, relationships, and marriage. Thank you for reading and see you at the next one. should my boyfriend know my salary

114 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page