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What She Says vs What She Means: Top 10 Things Women Tell Men and What They Mean

Have you ever wondered what your girlfriend, wife, or female friend is really trying to say when she says something vague, ambiguous, or contradictory? Do you often feel confused or frustrated by the mixed signals she sends you? If so, you are not alone. Many men struggle to understand the hidden meanings behind women's words and sometimes end up making wrong assumptions or offending them unintentionally. To help you decode the hidden messages behind some common phrases women use, here are the top 10 things women tell men and what they really mean.


1. “I’m fine.”

 This is probably the most classic and notorious example of a phrase that women use when they are not fine at all. When a woman says “I’m fine”, she usually means one of two things: either she is upset or angry about something and wants you to figure it out and apologize, or she is feeling sad or hurt and wants you to comfort her and show her some affection. Either way, the best response is not to take her word for it and ask her what is bothering her or give her a hug and tell her you care.


2. “Do whatever you want.”

This is another phrase that women use when they are not happy with your choices or actions. When a woman says “do whatever you want”, she usually means that she does not agree with or approve of what you want to do, but she is not going to stop you or argue with you. However, she is also expecting you to reconsider and change your mind, or at least take her feelings into account. When she says this,  she has an opinion but feels like it does not matter to you. So, try as much as possible  to get her to tell you how she truly feels about the situation or decision you are about to make. What She Says vs What She Means

3. “You don’t have to get me anything.”

 Women love spontaneity and surprises. If you ask her directly or imply that you don’t know what to get for her, she would most likely use this line.  That is because women love it when you surprise them with a thoughtful gift or gesture. When a woman says “you don’t have to get me anything”, she usually means that she does not want you to feel obligated or pressured to buy her something expensive or extravagant, but she still hopes that you will get her something meaningful and personal that shows how much you know and love her. Do not  take her word for it and not get her anything at all, or get her something generic and impersonal. Women value thoughtfulness.


4. “We need to talk.”

 Many men dread this statement because they start thinking about what they have done wrong. This is a phrase that women use when they have something serious or important to discuss with you. When a woman says “we need to talk”, she usually means that she has something on her mind that is bothering her or affecting your relationship, and she wants to address it and resolve it with you. This could be anything from a minor issue to a major problem, depending on the tone and context. Do not panic upon hearing this statement. All you have to do is give her your undivided attention. Listen to her attentively and respectfully, and try to understand her perspective and feelings. What She Says vs What She Means


5. “Nothing.”

 When a woman doesn’t want to tell you what is wrong or what she is thinking she says “nothing”. When a woman says “nothing”, she usually means that there is something bothering her, but she does not want to talk about it or share it with you, either because she thinks you won’t understand, you won’t care, or you will make it worse. Sometimes, she might also say “nothing” because she is not sure what is wrong or what she is feeling herself. You just have to be keen enough to decipher what the “nothing really means. If you see that she just needs some time alone, just grant her that but do well to let her know that you are there for her when she is ready to talk.


6. “It’s up to you.”

This is a phrase that women use when they want you to make a decision or a choice. When a woman says “it’s up to you”, she usually means that she does not have a strong preference or opinion on the matter, and she trusts you to make the best decision for both of you. However, she might also say “it’s up to you” because she wants you to take some initiative and responsibility, and show some leadership and confidence. The fact that she is giving you the go ahead to make a  decision means she wants to judge your ability to be reasonable and fair. Also, do well to  explain your reasoning to her. What She Says vs What She Means


7. “I don’t care.” What She Says vs What She Means

 Women say this when they are indifferent or uninterested in something. When a woman says “I don’t care”, she usually means that she does not have any strong feelings or opinions on the subject, and she is willing to go along with whatever you or others decide or do. However, she might also say “I don’t care” because she is annoyed or bored by something, and she wants you to change the topic or the activity. This is another moment when your ability to observe keenly is highly needed. At this point, what you have to do is  gauge her mood and interest level, and try to find something that she does care about or enjoy.

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8. “You’re not listening to me.”

A woman uses this phrase when she feels that you are not paying attention or understanding what she is saying. When a woman says “you’re not listening to me”, she usually means that she wants you to focus on her and what she is telling you, and show some interest and empathy. She might also say “you’re not listening to me” because she feels that you are not taking her seriously or respecting her point of view. Women love it when you give them undivided attention when they are expressing themselves. So, when she uses this line, it is your cue to put away any distractions and look at her in the eye, and repeat back what she said or ask her questions to clarify.


9. “You’re so sweet.”

 When a woman says “you’re so sweet”, she usually means that she is touched or impressed by your kindness, generosity, or thoughtfulness. She might also say “you’re so sweet” because she finds you attractive or charming, and she is flirting with you or complimenting you.  A good response to this  is to accept her praise graciously and thank her sincerely, and return the compliment or the gesture.


10. “I love you.”

When a woman says “I love you”, she usually means that she cares about you, trusts you, respects you, and wants to be with you. She might also say “I love you” because she wants to express her gratitude, happiness, or support for you, or because she wants to hear it back from you. What she expects after saying this is that you say “I love you” back to her, and show her your love through your actions and words. What She Says vs What She Means


There you have it, gentlemen, women’s language simplified. Call it women’s language 101. It is evident that women say things to men that have different or hidden meanings, depending on the context and the situation. Men may find it hard to decipher these messages, and may end up misunderstanding or offending women. To avoid these problems, men need to pay more attention to women’s words, tone, body language, and emotions, and try to communicate with them more clearly and respectfully. By doing so, men can improve their relationships with women, and make them feel more valued and appreciated. As Oscar Wilde once said:

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”

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What She Says vs What She Means

What She Says vs What She Means

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